right and left behind....

I finally got my first real chewing out since being here. As some of you may know, I'd been seeing someone in Haifa who, to put it lightly, didn't share my views on a whole host of things - from peacemaking to hiking and everything in between. It was nothing short of miraculous one day when we discovered we both liked the same song on the radio. I should have started running the day he told me he didn't like cheese and I should have run even faster when he told me I have no reason to be here and that my views are a threat in and of themselves to the country. But no, being the optimist-bordering-on-gatekeeper-of-la-la-land that I am, I thought I might be able to pull this one over to the other side. He was a bit of a project, and a hard one at that, who also happened to enjoy taking me out and translating for me and teaching me about relevant spots around town. In the beginning we talked about politics, always heatedly, and sometimes even had make-up make-out sessions that were like mini-peace agreements in themselves. I was making concessions but also felt like I was making progress.

Yesterday, all that work came down on my head in several of the ugliest phrases I've personally heard uttered anywhere in my direction. Following a semi-controversial interview I went on last week at a leftist organization, homeboy decided I was beyond hope, beyond the illuminating reach of his right-wing claws and thus worthy of being chewed out and verbally spit on. He said it was a shame I wasn't born earlier because I could have made a nice career as a Nazi collaborator and that people like me, i.e. enemies of the state, deserve to be hanged in the public square. He quickly retracted the latter part once I pointed out how fundamentalist he sounded but the damage had already been done. Anyway, I will spare you further details, but suffice to say after almost an hour of his abuse and my earnest attempts to diplomatically sock it back to him, I finally gave up. We both promised to think about what the other had to say and then hung up.

For about five minutes I felt like the world was crashing down around me and that I should probably just fly back to New York, where I can at least defend myself to the best of my ability in all the glory of my native tongue. But then it dawned on me, the real difference between him and I. While he is a certified misanthrope, believing that most people are animals and worthy of his scorn, I, maybe because I'm an optimist, maybe because I'm nice, like to think that most people in the world want the same things I do. It seems to me that most of us enjoy the view of the sea, we want to sit for long periods of time enjoying the company of our friends and family, we want good food to eat, better lives for our children, and above all to feel safe and secure where ever we go. And for that reason, I refuse to give up. I refuse to accept his black and white version of things, his us and them and good versus bad. Let him live in his cheeseless world, full of hatred and anger. I would have liked to pull him out and I would have liked to understand his perspective but a girl can only take so much abuse.